"Welcome to my corner, you city-slicker shitballs! May thunder n' lightning n' fire smite your West Coast "Sodom & Gommorrah" like biblical prophesy! May Jesus come riding on a snorting white horse any day now with "The Covenant, The Sword, & The Arm of the Lord"! But not before you write me a big, fat check! Now where'd I put my remote control?!"

--"How'd he manage that?"

-- "By God, by creating his own media!"

-- "That's a scary thought!"

*******************

"Red State Comic Strip", the Galaxy Michael Second Feature, has been added at the bottom. A series of semi-related shorts that explores what it was like growing up in Missouri. The "Red State" condition? Or merely my personal vanity? And guess what? IT HAS BEEN UPDATED & MODIFIED TO BE ABOUT 10X MORE READABLE! Click here to grab it now!

This piece is kind of a one-sided collaboration that fuses the ideas of Mr. Rick Bayan, the most sweet, lovable, pathetic cynic in the world who absolutely no one pays attention to with my mania for self-promoting workable movies that have my unmistakable "taint". Life hardly dishes out sugar, but bowl after bowl of shit. Capturing one's expression from the third person perspective can be pretty funny, though a first-person account can be even funnier provided that you give it the right spin and don't spend TOO MUCH TIME FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF. My sincere hope is that this project gets off the ground and that Rick Bayan to the right does not end up shriveled and dried up like ol' Franz Kafka who died celibate and unknown like a vampire bat. Viva the internet! Click here for the screenplay that's written in a literate way for the gum-chewing reader who doesn't want to be bored to death. . . . .

This is a demonstration of what I can do with the curmudgeonly columns of Fred Reed, "The Last Angry Man" who's seen his country go to waste from former early 1960's glory at the height of American power. A hard-talkin', hard-drinkin' free-lancing expatriate who has served in Vietnam and has been around the world, he is completely pissed off about the downward turn of society. Whether it's the soft-headedness, or the inability to cope, the laziness, or the very decline of civilization itself, Fred is not happy. I would need the permission and participation of the ol' flint, and this "DEMO" was constructed as a means to drum up support. There's a lot more where that came from, and Fred is the cowboy drinking "Padre Kino" down in Mexico. Click here for what I started on!

Go Off Your Medication & Read This:

To understand this screwball cinematic masterpiece, you have to know a few things about my buddy. He is a "good ol' boy" who suffers from manic-depression and whose favorite pastime is sitting down in a rocking chair, smoking Swisher Sweet cigars like a big-shot, and repeating vulgar stories & gossip. . . . . a platform of subreality that keeps building higher and higher as he builds toward the punch-line like some kind of unholy combination of "Touched by an Angel", Charles Bronson, and the circus. Perhaps the man likes to embellish, or maybe he is just half-crazy, but it makes for some damn fine entertainment (-- for as long as you can stand it!). Too much exposure will lead to your walls of reality melting down like a bad LSD trip as we, the filmmakers try to recreate it for the sake of dime-store Americana. Just remember: although talk is cheap, you don't get your dime back! Click here for it!

Have you ever wondered what it was like working in an auto factory?

Well, this is the madhouse chronicle based on the book by veteran "Shoprat" Ben Hamper who spent the best years of his life in a clanging, clattering, dehumanizing madhouse building your GM trucks for a comparative pittance up in Flint, Michigan. Comparative that is, next to the utter bliss with which folks drive around in their trucks. The grubby characters, the hopeless scene, the atmosphere of the blue-collar industrial jungle that the guys take for granted who live it, that others have no conceivable notion exists behind their sheltered middle class lives of globalist tech stocks. I don't mean to sound like an exploitation film director, but take a look at this movie-in-the-making and see something you've possibly never seen. . . . . . men sweating it out in desperation for their very livlihoods. Click here for it!

"What It Takes '88" Screenplay (Demo)

Called "The Iliad of American politics", this book is a journalistic masterpiece with sweeping, zany cinematic possibilities that goes behind the scenes of Presidential campaigns and asks a couple of questions that are oftentimes overlooked:

"Who are these guys?"

"What are they like?"

The personalities are so outsized, the stakes are so huge, that Presidential politics are certainly fertile material to be explored by he who can paint with the right brushstroke of a screenplay. Look no further, because I, naturally, have nominated myself to take on the challenge! Click here for a demonstration of what I've done thus far, sparing me the pain and travail of going through over 1,000 pages!

"Galaxy Jesse" Screenplay

This is a made-up conversation between my younger brother and I that might as well have occurred as we sit around and play Nintendo on a lazy Saturday night. Packed with too much brain, and an appetite for zaniness, we are quite incorrigible with our intellectual musings and pop culture references. Formally bloated, pompous asses, perhaps we have been put to shame because as they say-- "truth comes in blows". Well, tune into one of our apocryphal "truth" sessions and walk away with greater knowledge. . . . . that, or irritation! In any case, tune into what we say by clicking here and see what kind of losers we really are! Or are you the losers, and we the winners? Food for thought! And remember, you have been warned. . . . .

"Don Quixote USA" Screenplay (DEMO)

A naive American Peace Corps volunteer, ethical and blockheaded and singleminded to the point of stupidity, finds himself played as a pawn between generalisimos and Che Gueverra's in a 1960's "Banana Revolution" on a small island off the coast of Central America. But with his Boy Scout teachings and "do no wrong" principles, he leads a band of mountain guerillas to increasing success against a regime of comical right-wing tyrants. A screwball comedy of intrigue, based on the work of a long-out-of-print book that came out in 1966. Probably no one read the book except the author's mother, and I found it on the sale table at the county library for 25¢. But don't be fooled! It's a great read, and click here lest you be left behind in the dust-jacket of history, and a sense of irony that holds up anywhere!

"Oscar Wilde Discovers America" (DEMO)

Oscar Wilde-- the witty, urbane, and ridiculously-sensitive poet-- actually toured America on the lecture circuit in 1882 to promote his ideas on the importance of beauty during the rude, crude, and indifferent industrial era. Mostly the plaything of society ladies and the enervated rich, it was all part of "The Decadent Movement" in the arts. And where else would he find an uncomprehending audience, but here on the shores of America-- fountainhead of capitalism and smoke-belching industry? From the hog-scurrying streets of New York City to the wind-whipped yellow plains of the Midwest, and the Pacific Ocean beyond, Oscar Wilde was a curiosity to the nouveau riche and cowpokes alike as he soaked in the picturesque atmosphere of the era. Click here for it, and be amused by a mix of historical fact & fiction!

"Generation X: (Nostalgic Tales for
an Accelerated Culture)" (DEMO)

"Long ago, far away, before the MTV marketing machines of the world figured out that "ANGST SELLS", there was us. The X'ers. A generation which just kind of "drifted", that felt "passed over" by history in this age of mini-malls and frozen yogurt and 500 channels on cable but having the impression that nothing was freakin' ON. Squeezed out by the Baby-Boomers, who nabbed everything before we were big enough to reach over the table. You know, the spoils. The drumstick. The commanding sense of self-righteousness as they chewed and pointed at you, telling you what was wrong with you and your lot. Well, what are we supposed to say? You know, in an age when apparently all wars were fought? All ideals were dead? And there was nothing left to do but go browsing in the shopping centers that all looked the same, and to trade ironic quips on paved-over consumer culture, and at this point in the narrative, back in the early '90s-- to wonder if this was is there is across these dry, sandy times as we kicked back in the arid desert of modernity. . . . ." From the intro I wrote that pretty much sums up the zeitgeist, melded with the brilliant novel of Douglas Coupland that gave you the slang term, "McJob". Click here to be amazed at what I synthesized (-- No, really!).

"Confessions of an Economic Hit Man" (DEMO)

A story about the underbelly of our globalist economy, the true dark nature behind "THE HAPPY SMILING FACE" of international aid and development. Clearly, there has to be a way to extract humor from a very depressing topic. . . . . . because the more earnest and straight-faced you are, the more the crushing problems of the world won't go away. It comes down to the unholy alliance of government, big business, the CIA, and downright greed whose insolubility makes for a very interesting reenactment-documentary that absolutely skewers Michael Moore's doofusy style that only alienates so many people with its very arrogance and stupidity. You got to take it all from a realistic perspective, that takes the romance out of titanic left-wing gestures that gets you absolutely nowhere. Click here for what may not ultimately blow the lid off this rotten system, but will at least get people thinking. . . . . which is the important thing.

"Fuhrer-Ex: Memoirs of a
Former Neo-Nazi" (DEMO)

A tale of how totalitarian structures backfire and generate craziness and rebellion. Left to neglect, social problems fester and only get worse. There are no answers, except to realize that you do your part not to make things uglier by tipping over the shit-pot of physical and emotional abuse and spilling it on the lives of your hapless kindred, no matter who they may be. What do you say to that? What makes this movie different is that it isn't a pompous, breathy polemic that moralizes and shuts people off to the message of not falling into those dark corners in the first place. Click here for the sample of a dynamic, punchy script that will really make you think. . . . .

"The Vintage H.L. Mencken" (DEMO)

A proposed zany, madcap movie in my own mold about America's greatest 20th century man of letters who hated just about everything-- just like "Dirty Harry", but only with more charm. He hated religion, he hated government, he hated the average man, he hated just about everything with his vinegary prose that can still pack a wallop decades later with its proximity to "the age of irony". The question is, "how do you take this man?". Either he's a sour old bastard whose corpse you throw down into the bone-yard, or in your own way you can kind of poke fun at him and the society we've turned into that anyone of his make would definitely despise. The only thing you can do is drink a quart of lemonade, and piss on his grave in merry tribute, as I've done here in this demo. Click here to be amused, and don't get your skin peeled off with his caustic rants!

AND FINALLY. . . . .
(Because It Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else)